Open feelings
by Katieflood20
Summary: Connie has confessed her love to Sam. But after a day out together they arrive home to a very unexpected visitor, with some news.. Will this throw there relationship into jeopardy?
1. Chapter 1

_Open feelings. _

_Part 1 _

She stood watching him from her office door. Watched him flirt with that blonde bimbo they called Chrissie Williams. She felt slightly repulsed, walked back in to her office.

Sam stood cursing under his breath, cursing at his own stupidity as Chrissie stood there. "Haven't you got work to be doing?" Sam suggested.

"Typical.. A sighting of her and it's shot of me.." She huffed walking off throwing her toys out of her pram.

He sighed how could he be so inconsiderate it was only a couple of nights ago that she's confessed her love for him. And that for her took guts: he knew that more than anyone.

"Connie" he walked up to her as she sat at the bar, putting his hand on her back .

"Sam..." She rolled her eyes as she he came and sat down.

"Unusual to see you here.." He stated whilst ordering himself a drink. "Want another?" He suggested seeing her glass of wine teetering on empty.

"Its been a long and busy day Sam..." She sighed a little. "Please" she gave him eye contact followed by a half smile.

With the second glass being pushed towards her by the bar tender, she clasped her nimble fingers around it and took a big gulp.

"That bad, eh?" He took his beer, taking a small sip, it felt warm as it ran down his throat.

Connie nodded. Feeling herself finally relax for the first time all day.

He gestured towards the plush sofa. "Shall we?" Connie smiled again, following him over.

They sat down. Placing their drinks down. Getting comfortable.

"Sam, what do you think of me?" Wow. That's the conversation starter well and truly ticked. Sam thought.

Sam smirked. "In.. Erm what sense?"

"Every sense.."

Sam rubbed his forehead. "Well.. your a fantastic surgeon.."

Start with a compliment, she'll like you for that Sam, well done. He silently commended himself.

He continued. "You can be quite...difficult to work with, your a brilliant mentor, but I never really know where Iam with you, the mind games.. Power trips" he paused, he didn't want to push It Incase what awaited him at work tomorrow would be more than his life's worth. "But, what we do have, is a beautiful daughter together, and whatever you may think, we make it work for her" he stopped looking at her.

"Wow.. Well.. Honesty is sure the best policy.." She took a sip of wine again.

"Oh and another thing... Your great in bed.." He grinned.

"Oh.." She smirked.

He smirked again. "Okay... Let's turn tables.. I've told you what I think.. Now it's your turn, and come- on if we're being honest.."

Connie didn't hold back. When does she? "Immature, pain in the backside, put your foot in it with me constantly...um a complete idiot.." She paused for thought. "However... I can see underneath all that, that you are serious about your career.."

She stopped. Looking at him for what felt like an eternity, she sighed a little, her heart beating faster then normal, her feelings, emotions, her alcohol consumed mind , she knew exactly how she felt through the haze of it all. "But, Sam.. That's why..." She stopped again, the words on her lips, waiting to spill out. "I love you"

Sam's face must have a been a picture, utter shock, because Connie couldn't help but laugh. He wondered wether it was the alcohol talking, but then she hadn't really had that much. "Just say that again?"

"I love you Sam, don't look SO shocked.." She stared at him.

"Your not going to deny all this tomorrow at work.. Tell me I'm being ridiculous.. "

"Oh Sam when have I ever called you ridiculous?" She grinned.

"Plenty of times!" He smiled at her, waiting for a second before moving closer to her, he'd always had a soft spot for her, a place in his heart for her, he was so glad she'd finally said those words, he gently pressed his lips on hers. Closing her eyes she began to kiss him, feeling his hand on her waist. Goosebumps rippled over her body.

Later that night they ended up back at hers...

Connie sat down in her chair, her emotions got the better of her again, and she burst in to tears. She was confused. She knew she loved this man, but she wasn't sure if he was serious about their relationship. I mean, he had every reason to think this was a free ticket, after what she'd put him though, but it had taken her guts to confess her love for him. Times change don't they?

Hearing a knock at the door. She sat up in her chair, sliding it towards her desk. "Yes?" She wiped her tears before looking up. Seeing Sam she sighed.

"Connie I'm sorry..." He looked at her, seeing her tearstained eyes he felt bad.

She glanced at him. "Sam, are you serious about our relationship?, because from what I can gather, your not really...flirting with nurses, and the likes of Chrissie?" She pulled a face. "You've had HER before"

"I've had you before..." He shuffled on his feet as he stood there. "Iam Connie, honestly... I know how hard that was for you to open up to me about how you feel, I'm taking this seriously... It's just women.. I can't help myself.."

She half smirked. "What? Like you couldn't just help walking in on me in the staff room when I was getting dressed the other day, no?"

"Paid the price for that though didn't i?" He walked closer. "Come here" he held out his arms.

Standing up, she hugged him, feeling warm in his embrace. Closing her eyes, they felt sore. Hearing his pager go and feeling him moving, she lifted her head up. "Duty calls..." Sam looked at her taking her hands.

"You okay?" He asked concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'll be fine" she smiled as his pager bleeped again. "Go!" She let go of his hands, smiling.

Heading towards the door, Sam

soon turned. "Let me make it up to you, dinner tonight..."

Connie nodded. "Hope it's at my favourite place.."

Sam smirked. "As always" heading out the door, Connie smiled.

"Wow.. You look.." He started.

Connie finished. "Irresistible?"

Sam nodded, opening the taxi door for her. (after she finished locking the door of her house). "Thank you..." She smiled at him. "Your best suit I take it?" Seeing him a suit amused her.

"Yes" he replied closing the door, before walking round and getting in the other side.

"Round tree restaurant please.." Sam stated.

Connie frowned. "No.. I've gone off that place.."

Sam looked lost for a moment. "Since when?!"

"I'm joking Sam.. Really, you need to learn to take a joke.." She smirked at the taxi driver, who smirked back. "You've played your cards right there.."

Sam looked at her, the evening sky catching her beautifully curled hair falling down around her face. Her red dress framing her lovely slim figure. He smiled, she smiled back.

"You did tell the nanny when we'd be back didn't you?" Connie rolled her eyes. "Yes Sam, I can deal with the nanny perfectly well on my own, I have done for long enough" She paused "Thats why.."

The taxi driver spoke stopping Connie mid sentence. "Look at this traffic!" He shook his head. "What time have you got to be there?"

"7;30" Sam replied.

"Always expect traffic in London though don't you?"

"You do..."

Connie sat back. The conversation soon forgotten.

Arriving at the restaurant at 7;15 Connie slipped off her thin shawl, revealing neatly rounded shoulders, making the red dress look even brighter. She linked arms with him as they walked over to the check in desk.

"Table for two?" The waiter asked,notes of an Italian background coming though as he spoke. Sam nodded.

"This way..."

Taking them to a small table, placed near the back of the restaurant. Sam

waited for Connie to sit down before taking a seat himself. She looked radiant under the bright lighting. He smiled to himself as he watched her look at the menu.

"What are you looking at Sam?" She asked with a slightly playful tone.

How does she do that? Sam pondered to himself. It's like she stare straight through the menu.

"You..." He admitted. "You look beautiful..."

She lifted the menu down "And you, look amusing, that suit.."

"Thanks Connie.." He smirked. "'Maybe jeans and a smart shirt would have been better..."

Connie nodded. "Yes.. But quite frankly your shirts have seen better days as well"

The meal had been eaten and a few glasses of wine, drunk.

"Have I surpassed myself?" Sam asked finishing off his the last of his steak.

Connie nodded. "I guess so.. All very nice" she smiled.

Sam sat back. "How about another bottle of wine before we go?"

Nodding Connie smiled. "Okay, yes why not"

A bottle of wine later.

Connie laughed.

Sam laughed.

They talked, about the good and about the bad. About their past.

"It was hard wasn't it?" Connie started. She'd had a far few glasses at this point and was fairly drunk.

"What?" Asked Sam yawning.

"With Grace.. I shouldn't have pushed you out, I shouldn't have done that, but I did..." She stopped her words slurring. "I'm sorry, Sam.."

Sam shook his head. "Look, there's no point in digging up the past is there?"

"No .. But I can't help but think, what if things were different.. What if, we were actually together when it all happened.." Sam frowned watching her. "I was trying to tell you in the taxi tonight.."

"Connie your a bit drunk,you don't know what your saying"

"But... No I do, I was going to ask you to move in with me... I feel it's ...right"

"What tonight? when we were in the taxi, yes?" He questioned her.

She nodded. "Yes.. Then the taxi driver stopped me from telling you.."

"Okay" Sam nodded. "I'll just go and pay the bill, you stay right there.."

Connie nodded, watching him. She smiled to herself. Putting her head in her hands she yawned. Lifting her head up she saw Sam.

Sliding her chair back she stood up. Her eyes began to blur through the consumption of alcohol, attempting to sit down, she fell straight to the floor.

Turning around hearing the thud, Sam looked over to Connie on the floor, the red dress evident. "Are you okay?" Moments after realising Connie was laughing, he smirked.

"Come-on lets get you home" With him pulling her up she continued to laugh. Leaning on his shoulder as he lead her out of the restaurant.

The chill from outside, hit Connie and she started shivering. Sam wrapped his coat around her.

"Iam serious... You know... About staying with ...me, because it will be nice to have you around.. and for Grace as well, because she needs her dad..."

Sam nodded. "I know you are.. I know.." Those words hit Sam, tugged at his heart strings. "You should drink more often.." He whispered.

The taxi pulled up shortly afterwards. Getting in Sam told the taxi driver were to go. Connie soon fell asleep on Sam.

A small thought crossed his mind. Work. Tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Connie woke the next morning. With a slight headache. She groaned looking at the alarm clock. 6;00, oh that body clock of hers.

Sam woke almost instantly hearing noise upstairs. His nights sleep on the sofa had been a very comfortable one. He thought he'd better stay Incase anything happened...

With her dressing gown and slippers on Connie padded downstairs. She squinted at light from the little lamp on the shelf above the telly, Sam seemed to have left it on.

"Don't say anything..." She started, walking into the kitchen.

Sam just smirked.

"Why are you even here anyway, thought you would have gone home" She spoke pulling a glass and paracetamol out the cupboard.

"Connie, you were sick on the carpet on the way upstairs, I didn't want to leave you" he explained.

"Oh.. I don't remember that.." "Thank you anyway..." She half smiled. "For last night, it was lovely"

Sam snorted. "Surprised you remembered.."

"I do.. All of it.." Connie smiled. "Apart from being sick on the carpet.."

"You asked me to move in with you..." He trailed off, walking over to her he rubbed her shoulders. She closed her eyes, relaxing.

"Mmm, I meant it.."

Sam smiled kissing her neck. "Really?"

"Yes.." Picking up the glass of water she knocked back two paracetamol. "I'm going to get ready for work"

Sam frowned. "What? Your going In?"

"Yes, why?" Connie responded.

Sam sighed. "No reason..."

"Why, Sam?" She raised her eyebrows. "Because I have a day off and I would like, if you will, you to spend it will me... Pull a sicky..."

Connie titled her head. "Oh Sam..." She walked over and hugged him. "I can't..."

"But please" he pleaded like a child. "we could take Grace to the park..or go out for the day"

Shaking her head Connie sighed. "Okay, I concur, just this once... Don't be expecting it all the time "

"Your living a little Connie!"

Connie glared at him. "Shush Strachan" she teased.

"A theme park.. Alton towers maybe" Sam suggested

Connie rolled her eyes. "Sam.. Really, who's the child here?, actually don't answer that"

Sam smirked. "Grace will love it, all the sights, sounds, rides"

"No you mean, you'll love it more than her"

"Oh come-on" Sam continued "Its a day out... And the weather, it looks to be holding out" he looked peering out the window. "Maybe I will get you on a ride"

"You will not!" Connie protested giving him a playful glare.

Sam looked amused.

"What?" Connie questioned.

"Just picturing you on a roller-coaster..." He could help but laugh.

Connie thought for a moment or two. "Okay, Strachan, if you think you lead the moral high ground on this roller coaster argument then okay.. I'll give it a go.." She sounded as confident as ever.

"Are you serious?" Sam smirked.

"Deadly..." She titled her head slightly.

"Oh, together you say?" Sam teased moving towards her. "Connie Beauchamp is living a little, that's what I like to see" He smirked.

"Right, I'll go get sorted then" She smiled. "Could you sort Grace out for me?" She asked.

"Of course.." Sam smirked again, his insides bursting with excitement, after all this time he actually gets to spend a fun day out with his daughter and the mother of his child. Hallelujah! She's seen the light!

It was up to Sam therefore, to wake Grace, get her dressed and ready for the day. Daddy duties are now being put to the test.

Walking up the stairs he listened hearing Connie in the shower. He smiled hearing her singing "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake. Looking around he saw another 3 doors surrounding him. Having a cheeky look inside Connie's room he smiled, it's was immaculately kept, and he expected nothing less, he made sure to keep the door ajar just how it was left.

GRACE. The five letters of his daughters name imprinted on a lovingly crafted in pink wooden letters, twisting the door knob, he opened it carefully. She was still sound asleep. It being 6;30 he thought as much.

Hearing the house phone ring downstairs he quietly shut the door before walking over to the bathroom door, knocking on the it he shouted her name.

"Connie..."

"Yes?"

"House phone is ringing"

"Answer it then" Ever the blunt, demanding answer. He smirked.

Walking down the stairs Sam picked up the phone.

"Hello, Connie Beauchamp's house phone.."

"Sam.. Is that you?, it's Elliot"

"Oh.. " Sam pulled a face. "Hi Elliot, yes it is me"

"Ahh right, it's just I was expecting Connie, Mrs Beauchamp to be in by now, I don't want to pry, but is everything okay?"

Sam thought for a moment. Think Sam think! "Everything's fine, shes just in bed with flu... I'm just here to keep an eye on things.. Grace"

"Oh... Do send her my wishes then, don't tell her to come back to work until she's recovered though.."

Sam chuckled. "Elliot...Mr Hope, you know what Connie's like, she'll be back tomorrow"

"Well if she has any sense she'll stay away from her beloved Darwin until then, I don't think she wants to be loosing staff members more staff members due to sickness!"

"I'll tell her that don't worry Mr Hope. I'll see you tomorrow, bye.." Placing the phone down Sam made his way back upstairs.

Connie met Sam on the stairs. "Who was that?"

"Elliot"

"Right at what did you say?" Connie gave him eye contact.

"I told him you had the flu.." Sam smirked.

"Brilliant, you do realise Im going to have to tell him the truth or risk not working for another couple of days.." Connie shook her head.

"What else was I meant to say?" Sam smirked. "It wouldn't be so bad.. Not working for another couple of days, you could spend more time with Grace?"

Connie's mood lightened a little. "I suppose so.."

"And they know don't they so no more phone calls..." Sam had actually reasoned with her and it had worked.

Connie smiled slightly, heading to her bedroom door, to get ready. "Is Grace up yet?"

"In the process.." Sam replied heading towards her daughters bedroom once again.

8;00

"Connie, I don't want to rush you but it's .. 8;00 and we need to get there" Sam shouted up the stairs to Connie who was still getting ready. Grace ran up and down the hallway, squealing.

Connie came to the top of the stairs. "Wardrobe malfunction Sam, im nearly ready, she frowned seeing Grace"

"Sam... Bring Grace to the bottom of the stairs"

Connie titled her head looking at her daughter. "What have you put her in, are you serious..her onesie?"

Sam laughed. "Don't worry I've put spare clothes in her bag, it's just I thought she'd be cold in the car on the way down... "

Connie shook her head. "Right...well we don't have time to change her now.." She smirked at him slightly.

"Touché Connie.." Sam muttered. "Oh finally!" He smirked once again. Seeing her playful grin"

"Sam, do you have to drive so fast along the motorway?" Connie questioned gripping her seat a little.

"No.. But I like it fast and furious.." He glanced at her, before smirking, fixing his eyes on the road again.

Connie turned in her chair to Grace who was colouring in her book. She smiled at her mother. "Look mummy.." She held up her book showing a fish on one page and a duck on the other that she'd coloured.

"Well done baby" she smiled at her daughter.

Turning around she turned on the radio. Flicking through the stations she stopped at one she recognised. Hearing it made her think of Grace and Sam. It was a Delta Goodrem song. "Be strong" She looked at him, his eyes were fixed on the road. He seemed almost in a daze his foot still firmly on the peddle. Maybe that song brought back memories for him as well. Connie panicked at little.

"Sam" there was silence, no response.

"Sam!" She tried again. Sam soon snapped out of his daze, taking his eyes of the road he looked at Connie.

"Yes.."

"Everything okay?" Connie asked, Sam glanced back on the road.

He turned the radio off. "That song.." He stated. "I remember it being played on the radio, the day Grace had her accident, once that morning and then a second time on the way home, brings back memories." He admitted.

Connie nodded, reflecting. "Let's see what other stations we have" Connie's nimble fingers turned the dial. "Radio 1?" She suggested.

"Okay.." Sam smiled. Then smirked. "This is the song you were singing in the shower this morning..."

Connie blushed ever so slightly.

"You should really apply for a singing contest you know.."

"I don't think so.. What give up being a surgeon?, Sam... I thought you knew as much.." Connie smiled.

"She'll love it..." Sam informed her.

Connie stood watching as the teacups spun round. Watching the faces of other child red faced and crying she had Grace beside her. Bending down to her level she smiled. "Would you like to go on?" Grace jumped up and down.

"That's a yes.." Sam looked at Connie watching her.

Connie, Sam and Grace sat in one of the teacup seats as the bar chain was put across. Grace stared up at both parents and smiled. "Weeeeeee!"

"Well isn't this cosy.." Sam commented.

"Very..." Connie smiled at Sam, he felt his hand on her shoulder.

Grace watched in awe looking behind her as other teacups spun. "Look! Pink!" She shouted looking at another pink teacup.  
Her blonde locks flying about.

"Good girl it is.." Sam smiled at her daughter, as did Connie.

"I'm proud of you today Connie, I know this isn't something you'd normally do..."

Connie smiled. "Well as you say I'm living a little, and it's been rather nice so far.." Leaning over she kissed him gently on the lips.

Sam smiled.

After grabbing a bite to eat. Sam took Connie around the theme park , showing her all the rides. He'd been here before countless times as a child, he knew the place like the back of his hand.

"So.. You said you were willing to get on it.. And here we are..."

Connie gulped.

Sam just grinned watching her, the fear on her face. "It's fine, honestly, there's only one big... Massive drop and it's right up there" he pointed to the peak of the roller-coaster.

"Shhhhh!" Connie held her hand up stopping him, thinking for a while. "I'm not going back on my word, you wanted a challenge and you got one.." Heading for the queue butterflies formed in her stomach. Frowning she noticed Sam come up behind her.

"What are you doing...there's Grace to look after"

"She's coming as well.."

"No shes bloody well not, not if you want a load of sick to deal with.." Connie tried to push past him. "It's fine, she's with one of my family friends, worked here for years, she's a children's entertainer, look she's just over there..." Sam pointed, Connie followed his gaze.

Connie nodded. "Good, because for a moment there I thought you'd actually be as stupid as too do something like that..."

"Glad you think so highly of me!" Sam laughed.

The queue moved along.

Connie grasped Sam's hand subconsciously.

"You are actually scared aren't you?"

"A bit.. I'm not totally immortal you know ..."

"Scared is good" Sam whispered.

Connie shuffled in her seat, she looked up at the dark metal framing of the roller-coaster, her mind was telling her to run before you can, her heart was telling her to do it for Sam. So he can see that you CAN live a little.

With the bar being pushed down by Sam, the theme park staff came along to make sure it was locked tight.

"Are sure you want to do this Connie?" He frowned looking at her. "You look as white as a sheet.."

Connie nodded. Grabbing his hand. "Haven't been on one of these since I was a child , that's all..."

Sam squeezed her hand. "Let the adrenaline pump through you.."

Connie fixed her eyes In front of her. Or fear.."

With everyone in their seats, the countdown began.

Sam rubbed Connie back, holding back her long brown locks of hair. "Better?"

Connie nodded, she'd gotten off the ride and some 5 minutes later found herself being sick. She held on to the fence as Sam went to her Grace. Pushing the pram over he took a bottle of water out the bottom and gave it to her.

"Here.." He gave a bottle to her and she took a few slow sips.

"Food must've come right back up from early.." She stated, taking deep breaths now stood up right.

After a fun filled rest of the day, on much less intense rides it was 4;30 and both thought it was time to head home. Loading the car up both Connie and Sam climbed in.

"Thank you for today" Connie told Sam as she did up her seat belt. Turning around and glancing at Grace who was falling asleep in her chair.

"Fun wasn't it?" He took hold of her hand. "We still have tomorrow...?" He questioned.

Connie thought. "Hmmm I may go back to work.. Elliot will understand, he knows who I work"

Sam nodded. He also understood. He wasn't going to argue not to end a day like today. Starting the engine, he yawned, Connie watched him. "Would you like me to drive? You look worn out"

Sam turned to her. "No I'll be fine.." He stated reversing the car.

The radio was on low, radio 2 Connie could recall, they were an just under an hour way, from home Connie could feel her eyes closing. The soft sounds of "why" by Annie Lennox lingering in her ears.

Sam glanced and her, he smiled. His eyes we're tired, but he concentrated on the road ahead. Grace was still sound asleep and the car was silent, he switched off the radio for the rest of the journey. Peace.

"Connie ..." He roused her from her sleep. She shifted opening her eyes.

"Were home.." Taking the keys out of the ignition he looked straight ahead and could see someone sat on the steps, he frowned, the dark making it hard to see the face of the figure, he glanced at the car clock 4;30. Winter was approaching so the dark loomed ever close this early in the evening.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Thank you for the reviews here is part 3! _**

**_Katie x_**

_Part 3 _

Connie felt numb, she also felt sick.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. The woman was sat next to her, with a cup of coffee in her hands. Her hair was a mucky blonde, grey, ageing stands were evident, her frail figure was slim. Connie put her own coffee down, not knowing what to say.

"Car crash apparently.." The woman continued. She wiped her the fresh, fallen tears.

Connie cleared her throat. "How did you find me?" She asked, noting that she'd been living on America for the past 8 Years.

"He told me, where you lived..." She nodded sighing heavily than ever before. "Look Connie I'm sorry to bring you such bad news. I know he meant a lot to you... Even after what he did...I did hear, I wasn't impressed, I can only apologise"

Connie nodded. As the woman stood up so did she. "How were you to know, thank you anyway, for letting me know.." She hugged the woman quickly before seeing her out of the door, her voice cracking all the while.

Closing the door Connie held her breath for a moment, tears waiting to fall and they did. By the end, she was sobbing, sat helplessly at the bottom of the stairs. Sam came down the stairs after reading the "three little pigs" story to Grace. She loved it, all the different voices he did for the pigs and wolf!

"Connie?.. What's the matter?" He sat on the step above, placing his hands on her shoulders.

She turned around hugging into him. Closing her eyes she let the tears fall.

Sat on the sofa she wiped her eyes. Her face red and blotchy, she felt exhausted from the crying she just wanted to sleep.

"I know what he did was totally wrong, and I've never truly forgiven him, but I did love him once, he was my husband.. I can't believe he's.." She couldn't say it.

Sam looked at her, he could tell she still had a love for him, even after all this time. I mean he couldn't blame her he was her husband... Once.

Sam moved closer. "I'm hear for you, you know that don't you..,"

Connie nodded. "I know he thought about me, I know he did, he told me... Never stopped thinking about me when he was in prison, and you know the selfish thing was, was that I just ignored that completely, walked away from him, more bothered about my career, as always" She shook her head, frustrated with herself.

Sam massaged her shoulders as she laid with him. "Was that his sister then?"

Connie nodded. "Yes, that was Cara.. Have always disliked her, she forever waded her way in, even after me and Michael were married, she'd always tried to stir things, tell me that a Michael was having affairs, when all he was really doing was working, working to support his wife.. Me, Connie Beauchamp"

Sam snorted. "Nothing knew there, you disliking someone." A small smile played on his lips.

Connie relaxed closing her eyes, her mind almost swimming with thoughts.

"I only contacted him a couple of weeks ago, I can't get my head around it Sam..." She sighed pressing her fingers on her forehead. Tears formed in her eyes once again, her emotions were all over the place. Letting a tear fall Sam wiped it from her cheek.

"It'll be okay,.." He rubbed her shoulder, as she lay with him.

Sam shifted gently after a while,as not to wake Connie getting himself comfy, laying there he worried, worried about how this was going to effect their relationship but more importantly this could effect her emotionally.

-  
You never really forget your first true love. - those words played in her mind as Connie or herself ready for work and she threw herself into it as she does. Forgetting about her worries, her coping mechanism, well for the next 9 hours or so.

She expected the death of her husband to be hot gossip, a couple of weeks after finding out, as everything normally is in Holby, on the grapevine as soon as possible, but she was surprised that it wasn't, even two weeks later.

Sam was concerned, not because she was throwing herself in to work, because he was familiar with it, it's something she did best.

He could see she was very distant, with her staff and also the patients. Not being as thorough as usual. Slipping up on the most simple of diagnosis, she was drifting. It worried him because he'd never seen her like this before. It was clear that Michael's death had affected her more than she was actually aware.

Connie sat in her office, her paper work overwhelming her once again, she put her pen down, her hand beginning to cramp due to all the writing, she looked at her phone. 1 new message. Opening the message her eyes scanned over.

Connie, I just wanted to let you know about the funeral arrangements, his service be held on the 1st of December, in London as that's were we've live most of our lives growing up, let me know If your going to be able to make it.

Thank you.  
Cara

Sitting back Connie sighed. It was all happening to quickly. London wasn't that far away put she had, commitments, work, her daughter. She leant on the desk, pushing her fringe back. Hearing a knock at the door she sat up.

"Come in..."

Chrissie entered. That's all she needed. "Could you sign these discharge papers for Mr Walters.."

Connie took the papers from her, signing them she gave them back to the blonde nurse. Chrissie looked at her.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine..."

Chrissie frowned. "Well your not acting like it.." She could be so blunt and forward at time.

Connie shook her head. "Do you really want to know what's wrong... Really?, for starters, you flirting with Sam.."

"Hang on a minute!" Chrissie butted in. "That's has nothing to do with you"

"And second of all.." She faulted wanting to break down once again. "Michael died a coupe of weeks ago.. So if I don't seem or act okay, then that might be why... Now go"

Chrissie stared at her. "How?"

"Oh you suddenly care, didn't give a fuck when you were kissing his face off all those years ago, did you?" She had a dig, her voice cracking, a tear ran down her cheek.

"How!" Chrissie raised her voice.

"Car crash.." Connie closed her eyes. "Where's Sam"

"I don't understand..how?" She questioned staring at Connie. "On the ward.. Why?"

"Go and get him will you.." Connie couldn't look at the nurse anymore, tears starting streaming down her face.

Sam entered moments later. "Connie?" Turning around on her chair, he walked over to her and hugged her, wrapping his arms around her, she'd gotten herself into such a state.

Having calmed down, she told Sam about the text from Cara. "I don't know wether to go over there.. London isn't that along way, but what are people going to think?, then again I want to go pay my respects to him, he was my husband after all" She sighed heavily.

"Connie, I think, you should take time off, I've noticed that you've been distant at work, and I think this has affected you more than you know"

She nodded. "I know I haven't been on top for my game, Sam I throw myself into work to forget, it's my way of coping, I know that, I will take the time off and I'll inform Elliot tomorrow" Bowing her head she sighed deeply again, Sam wrapped his arms around her.

"Will you come to London with me?" Connie asked him, she needed him. "I'll arrange with Elliot for more agency staff on the ward.." She looked up at him, he could see the tiredness and pain in her eyes.

"Off course I will.." Sam smiled slightly. "I'll finish up here"

"Thank you Sam" A small smile spread across her lips as she slipped her coat on and grabbed her bag. "Could you let a Elliot know I've gone home, you can tell him why.. Chrissie knows as well.." She admitted.

"Yes, I will are you sure you'll be okay" She nodded.

"Don't wait up, I'll see you In the morning.." He kissed her, watching her walk through the office door. He began clearing her paper work.

Walking through the ward she heard her phone ringing, an unknown number popped up on the screen. Answering it she sighed.

"Hello.."

"Is this Connie?.."

"Yes, who's this?"

"You don't recognise my voice? It's Steve Michael's brother, I got your number from Cara, now, listen to me carefully, I don't want you anywhere near the funeral, do you understand, all this is down to you.. you never actually loved him, not really, I don't want you anywhere near my dead brother, I have never liked you Connie, not after what you did, you shopped my Michael to the cops, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself"

His voice sounded menacing, she hung up her heart racing.

**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It all a getting a bit dark now! **


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

**Thank you for all your reviews :) it's really keeping the ideas and writing flowing.  
Hope you enjoy the next part!**

**Katie xx**

Connie clasped a glass of wine in her hands. Taking a sip she sighed heavily, the house was quiet with her daughter in bed, and Sam not back from work yet, silence surrounded her and she was left with her own thoughts and his voice in her head.

She closed her eyes. Thinking. She felt drained and exhausted. Her emotion were all over the place, draining her glass of wine she thought about pouring herself another one, what would another drink actually solve though? Nothing.

She thought about him, about Steve, what he'd said. She had the right to be there more than anyone. She had no reason to fall on her own sword, for his pleasure.

Connie knew she was stronger than this.

Screwing the lid back the bottle of wine, she left a note for Sam before heading up to bed.

_Sam,_

_Drink the rest of this for me if you like. You deserve it._

_Connie x_

Sam returned from work in the early hours of the morning. Climbing in to bed gently, she jumped hearing her voice, surprised that she was still awake.

"Good shift?" She asked sleepily, she was so tired but her mind wouldn't let her sleep.

"Busy..." Sam replied cuddling in to her. "I read the note you left, thank you, tasted like expensive wine.." He smirked.

"Christmas present last year.." She stated turning to him, she thought about telling him about the message from Steve, but decided against it. He didn't need her problems. She sighed, closing her eyes.

"Sam, I don't think I'm ready to say good bye"

"I know.." He took her hand under the duvet as they laid together. "You can do it though, it going to be hard, but i know you have it in you.."

Connie forced a smile through the darkness, the moonlight on her face.

"Come-on you, sleep you look exhausted" He brushed the fallen hair out of her face. She closed her eyes, Sam felt her soon drift off to sleep, he also did the same.

-  
1st December.

With Grace at her friends for the day, and also that night, Connie stood in her room at 11am. Looking at herself in the mirror she sighed, she still looked drained, her face place.

A black dress covered her body along with black heels, a clip pulled back her hair, out of her face. She'd applied a thin discreet layer of make up. Regardless of what Steve had said she was determined to go, say her goodbyes. She could feel her eyes filling with tears.

Sam watched her before walking over, his suit black, his shirt a crisp white . He didn't say anything just turned her to face him, she in to a hug, resting her head on his shoulder. The "You can do this" were whispered into her ear.

The service was long and emotional for Connie, she held Sam's hand, she was so glad he was there.

Cara had finished her speech to commentate her brother.

"Connie" Cara started. "If you wouldn't mind coming up her and making a speech, for my brother, your husband" Looking at Sam, he nodded.

Walking over to the front of the church. Taking a deep breath she held back the emotion.

"Michael, was a my husband, a loving husband, one who cared for other people, who wanted the best for me, and his family, I love him" She looked around, seeing Steve she gazed at him, he glared back at her. Her heart was beating and fast.

She scanned the room. Stopping at the familiar face of Sam.

"He will be missed, very much so.." Turning she saw the coffin, walking over she rubbed the top with her thumb. "Goodbye Michael" She whispered. A tear ran down her cheek.

"It that it? Connie is that all your going to say?" Steve piped up. Pressing her fingers on her forehead, she dared to turn around. "Why not make the speech more interesting, tell them about the his spell in prison, the one that potentially wrecked you marriage" Sam stood up, walking over.

She turned around to see him walking towards her. "You loved him? Did you fuck, I saw it.. Saw all of it, you to at each other's throats.. All of that, your marriage was a sham, just a act"

Sam walked up behind him.

Connie glared at him. "No, that's where your wrong because I did, I did love him!" She shook her head before walking down the walk way. He grabbed her hand and laughed. "That night, years ago, when you slept with me.. Behind husbands back, and you say you loved him, pffttt!" Tears glistened in her eyes and she let go of his hand.

"Connie! We haven't finished" Steve, walked briskly after her.

"Oi, leave her alone" Sam stated as he followed the man. Steve swiftly turned around feeling his anger rising. "And who might you be?" He asked sighing heavily,

"Connie's partner." He stated.

"Well 'Connie's partner' this is between me and her so I suggest you stay out of it.." Steve pushed him hard to the floor, winding him momentarily, he didn't want anyone involved and he before ran out after Connie.

Connie wiped away the tears, she wanted to break down and cry. But she just kept on walking, unaware of Sam and the fact he was still in the church.

"Connie! We need to talk!" Steve called after her.

Connie shook her head and continued to walk, wondering when he'd catch up with her.


	5. Chapter 5

**sorry long time no update! Hope you've all had a fantastic Christmas and new years! Heres part 5 , sorry its so short! **

Part 5

Sam got up of the floor, maybe a little too quickly he felt dizzy. He could feel all eyes on him. He sighed walking out, he needed to find Connie.

Connie could feel Steve behind her, shouting his words filled with the back note of anger.

"Connie! Stop!" He ran along, his black shoes getting wet from the damp blades of grass hitting them.

She stopped turning around. "What Steve? Mmmm, you going to tell me off for coming?, tell me off for wanting to pay my last respects"

"No" he looked at her. "You want to know the real reason I didn't want you to come, I was jealous, jealous of what you to had that I didn't, I wanted you Connie, that phone call wasn't meant to be hateful, but I was angry, angry because you'd chosen the Michael over me..."

Connie rolled her eyes. "Mature"

"That night,, we had together, I enjoyed, relished in it, and ... I want that back" he lifted up her chin with his thumb. Their eyes drew, as the soft wind surrounded them.

The brunette pulled her eyes away from him for a few minutes. His lips drew closer, locking his lips on to hers, they kissed. She was lying to herself, that kiss it brought back a wash of memories for her, that night was perfect. "I can't... Steve, I have Sam"

He backed away, opening his eyes once again . "Okay, I understand"

Seeing Sam overhead, she gave Steve a small smile before heading over to him.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, let's just get home shall we.." She frowned as she watched him walk. "Are you in pain?"

Sam nodded, holding her hand. "Fine, just Jared my back when leaving the church"  
"Did that Steve have much to say?, I would steer clear if I were you, he doesn't seem the nicest man ever"

"No... Just apologised for the phone c-"

Sam turned to Connie. "What phone call?, Connie?"

"Let's just get home and talk about this.."

Sam turned back to see him stood in the same spot. "What has he said to you?" Anger flitted in his expression.

"Sam, come-on there's no point in making a scene, let's just get home" Sam looked at het as they headed back towards the church.


End file.
